That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think people are normalizing furries
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
