Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
