I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
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i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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