i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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