I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
