I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
