i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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