he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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