Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How naked do you want me to be?
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