I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
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I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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