Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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