bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I skipped work to stalk him.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
