Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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