Can Purell be used as lube?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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