bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
