is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
