Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
