she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
