I got chris browned last night
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Fuck me I smell like cheese
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize