I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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