Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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