Your tits are I can't wait for
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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