Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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