Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
