FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
