Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
