I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
