Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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