OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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