i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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