Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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