so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
