I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
