How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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