if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
