The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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