Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
