i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
