One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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