If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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