just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
