I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Where did you get a picture of my penis
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
