it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
