guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
