Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
