Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Bring me that man meat
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
