Non-Jews are for practice
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
