I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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