I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
