I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
