Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
