I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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