I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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