she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
No subtext here. People are naked.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
