My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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