is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
